027 - Perfect Poké Partners? Kanto's First Trial!

"'I see that you're talkin' about someone carryin' most o' the weight again. A crew carries all the weight equally, that's how a crew works. And that's how a partnership works.'"

Episode Synopsis
After suffering a loss at the hands of Calico and Agean, Vermilion City's gym leaders, Rose and Cobalt go back to demand a rematch. But the gym leaders have others plans.. And Victor & Biscuit as hostages! Annie and Jonathan Craton join Jake, Josh, and Alan once again in this very unconventional episode!

Episode Summary
The episode resumes where the previous one ended: Rose and Cobalt walk out of the elevator and into a gift shop, deserted except for Thurl. The shop features a healing machine in the corner, and also sells shirts that feature a skull-and-crossed-swords motif, and say things like "I Survived a Gym Battle," "I Won a Gym Battle," and "I Lost a Gym Battle." Cobalt resolves not to buy any more shirts; looking around, they realize that Victor, Calico, and Agean are no longer with them. Thurl contacts Calico and Agean through a Cofragigus-shaped button, saying that "They've realized." Hearing this, Rose and Cobalt confront Thurl, and he radios the Gym Leaders for backup. Cobalt heals his team at the machine.

Calico and Agean enter the gift shop after Thurl remembers to turn on the smoke machine, gloating about their victory against Rose and Cobalt, and about Victor's forced indenturing to them. They offer Rose and Cobalt another challenge: to play-test the Trial Challenge that Calico and Agean are trying to import from Alola, and have set up around the park. As incentive, they roll out a screen that shows Biscuit and Victor tied to chairs and blindfolded. Enraged at this treatment of Biscuit (and, belatedly, Victor), Rose threatens to call the police again. Victor non-dramatically pleads for help before Calico cuts off the video feed.

The Gym Leaders present their terms: if Rose and Cobalt lose, Victor and Biscuit will remain at Pelipper Pier, and work for them for free. If Rose and Cobalt win, they'll learn about themselves, rescue Biscuit and Victor, and move on. Calico and Agean give Rose and Cobalt hints about the challenges: teamwork is key. To demonstrate, the Gym Leaders fist bump; Cobalt holds out his fist, but Rose doesn't notice.

Thurl presents Rose and Cobalt with a box of assorted eyewear; Calico chooses an eyepatch with a clear visor instead of a patch, and Agean chooses a half-Phantump of the Opera mask, also with a clear visor over the eye hole. Cobalt receives the patch, and Rose receives the mask. Calico tells her that the mask is "to hide your feelin's better, darlin'." Rose denies everything. The lenses of the eyewear spring to life, revealing via scrolling text on the lenses that they're pieces of Pelipper Pier ARG (Alternate Reality Game) technology, meant to aid them on the challenges.

Thurl brings out four treasure chests; each one contains a scroll with a couplet that will direct Rose and Cobalt to their next destination. Agean mentions that the trials are designed for six-year-olds, so if Rose and Cobalt can clear it, then anyone can do it. The first couplet is as follows:"'The highest point, the greatest view / The Sun and Moon both call to you.'"The Gym Leaders give Rose and Cobalt maps of the park, to replace Victor's copy. As Rose and Cobalt examine the map, deciding that the Lunatone ferris wheel is the most likely place, Calico and Agean vanish and are heard running down the hallway while complimenting each other.

The First Trial
Heading over to the ferris wheel, Rose and Cobalt find it strangely empty. There is a sign with two lights next to the ride: both are dark. The lenses activate, displaying the message "FIND THE TWO SWITCHES," and a reticle appears. Cobalt immediately goes to search the trash can by the ride, finds a switch, and presses it. One of the sign's lights turns green. Rose notices an odd-shaped cobblestone, emblazoned with the same skull-and-crossed-swords logo as the Gym shirts. She presses the stone, and the other light turns green.

Smoke billows into the area by the ferris wheel, and Calico and Agean rise up on a central platform, and two more rise up on either side of theirs. The unoccupied platforms each have a large red button and a small model of the ferris wheel; each of the seven carrels hold a differently-colored Minior. Calico and Agean are wearing space suits over their normal costumes; Victor emerges from the smoke dressed as an Elgyem and holding Biscuit, dressed in a space suit. A small crowd forms around the pedestals; one woman stands out to Rose and Cobalt. She is tall, with waist-length white hair, blue eyes, a long blue dress, and an unblinking, level gaze. The Gym Leaders invite Rose and Cobalt up to the stage for the trial. Rose and Cobalt take pictures of the Minior. Calico and Agean reveal the purpose of the first trial: stop the ferris wheel from spinning when your partner's favorite color is on the top. Rose stops the wheel when blue is at the top; after much deliberation, Cobalt stops the wheel on red. Both of their guesses are correct, and Thurl brings the Gym Leaders the next scroll. The next couplet reads:"'By roadway or by waterside / You're in for a bumpy ride.'"Calico, Agean, Victor, and Biscuit leave after Thurl uses another smoke bomb for them. Victor messes up the exit by happily saying bye to Rose and Cobalt.

The Second Trial
Rose and Cobalt head to the Bumper Cars and Boats. There, they find two small arenas, one with Electric Pokémon-themed cars, and the other with Water Pokémon-themed boats. Their lenses activate again: to Rose's amazement, Cobalt finds yet another switch in a trash can. Rose finds the other switch between the two arenas: a statue made of half a lightning bolt and half a water droplet. As the smoke billows in, Calico, Agean, Victor, and Biscuit enter. This time, Calico is in a mad scientist's costume over her pirate costume, Victor is dressed as her grotesque lab assistant, Agean is wearing a mermaid's and Starmie on his coat, and Biscuit is wearing a Vaporeon costume.

Another crowd gathers; the tall woman is present again, and Rose surreptitiously takes her picture (the woman is winking in it). Calico and Agean describe the second trial: each person has to ride in the bumper boats or cars, and drive their corner to the corner matching their partner's favorite Pokémon. Rose accuses Calico and Agean of trying to grift them, before they go into their respective arenas. Cars and boats, driven by Pier workers, enter the arena to try and stymie Rose and Cobalt. Cobalt, thinking of Dippy, heads for the Slowpoke corner of the bumper boat arena, while Rose eventually decides to head for the Shinx's corner. People in the crowd start to place bets over which Pokémon they will pick. Rose plays dirty, using Sakura's Vine Whip to keep the other cars away from her. Rose and Cobalt make it to their respective corners, and win the challenge. Victor, Biscuit, and the crew members vanish into a cloud of smoke as Cobalt jumps from his boat to the dock, and Rose exits her car like a normal person. Thurl gives Calico the third scroll, and she reads:"'I've got pirates, he's got ghosts / You've got a date with an Ampharos.'"The Gym Leaders vanish in another smoke bomb, and Rose and Cobalt leave for the third trial.

The Third Trial
Rose and Cobalt head to the Ampharos Amphitheater. There is another trash can outside of it; Cobalt checks it for switches, only finding a note that says "Nice try." He fakes the "click" noise of the switch and says that there was a switch in the trash can, but Rose sees through his beet-faced lie, and tactfully doesn't comment on it. On the stage, they find cubicles open to the audience, each with a chair, a black marker and a whiteboard. One cubicle is themed around Latias, and one is themed around Latios. As they walk on stage, Rose and Cobalt are greeted with spotlights, thunderous applause from a full house (and the mystery woman in the center of the front row), and campy music: it's a compatibility quiz. Rose denies everything. Calico enters, wearing an evening dress over her pirate gear, and Agean enters with a gold, sparkly top hat and bowtie in place of his normal hat. Victor and Biscuit also join them on stage, wearing tuxes with gold sparkly jackets. Rose sits in the Latias cubicle, and Cobalt sits in the Latios cubicle. Thurl, the emcee for the quiz, comes to stand at the podium, speaking much more theatrically than usual (which Rose mocks him for).

For this trial, Rose and Cobalt have to answer questions the way that their partner would, and must get three out of five points to succeed. Rose declares how stupid the quiz scenario is, and Calico and Agean threaten her with blackmail (or a call from her mother) to get her to participate. They hold flipping off the cameras during the gym battle and impersonating a police officer against her; Rose, unsurprisingly, says that blackmail is illegal. Cobalt cheerily remarks how he knew that they weren't talking to him, because he loves getting calls from his mom. Agean threatens to release the footage of Cobalt's terror in the Mr. Mime portion of the fun house; Cobalt then tells Agean that Chartreuse would just Fly to Vermilion, and he doesn't want that. Rose objects one last time, saying "If you write "we can break the law" in fine print, I don't think that makes it legal."

During the Trial, Rose and Cobalt have to answer five questions: They both answer the first question correctly, with "Hot Chocolate." Biscuit holds the microphone for Rose and Cobalt while they answer the questions; when he hops onto Rose's lap, Cobalt tells her to hold onto Biscuit, to which Calico yells "FINE PRINT." The second question causes them more problems; Rose immediately and correctly guesses Cyndaquil, but Cobalt has much more trouble, making the one-in-800+ guess of Brionne (which is incorrect). He explains his guess with Brionne being pretty and blue, like Rose's hair. Rose also answers the third question correctly with "cuddlepile," but Cobalt has no idea that Rose's favorite reward is high fives. When Rose mentions how she could probably carry the team, Calico points out that the point of the trial is to work together (providing the page quote) and warns Rose about the benefits of teamwork. Stumped by the fourth question, Jake and Josh finally remember to roll Intuition to figure out the answers. Rose is able to approximately guess Cobalt's ideal feature of "friendliness," but Cobalt guesses Rose's ideal feature as "attitude" instead of the correct answer, "the ability to improv." Rose and Cobalt both get the fifth answer correct: Rose's pet peeve is people thinking that she's automatically a cop (narrowly edging out people thinking that she and Cobalt are dating), and Cobalt's pet peeve is people being mean to his friends.
 * 1) "When it's cold outside, I like to relax with a nice, warm, glass of..."
 * 2) "If I were a Pokémon, I would be..."
 * 3) "When I am training my Pokémon, I like to reward them with..."
 * 4) "The most important feature in my ideal partner is..."
 * 5) "My biggest pet peeve is..."

Throughout the questions, Thurl, Calico, and Agean all hint at Rose and Cobalt being a couple, which Rose  denies .

Thurl emerges from the wings, holding the final treasure chest, and Calico and Agean thank him for hosting the compatibility quiz, and ask him to roll out The Machine. It turns out that The Machine is a Temporary Trader, that allows two people to trade their Pokémon for a short period of time. Calico reads the first part of the fourth couplet:"'A temporary switcheroo / From me to you.'"The Gym Leaders tell Rose and Cobalt that they have to know each other's Pokémon, and trade their partner a Pokémon that benefits them. When Rose and Cobalt point out that they should know the challenge first, Calico and Agean reveal the trial: Rose and Cobalt will be fighting the Gym Leaders, one-on-one and with one Pokémon each, using one of their partner's Pokémon, for the safe return of Victor and Biscuit.

Cobalt decides to trade Treble to Rose (with Treble's permission), because Rose and Treble have worked together before. Treble willingly returns to his Pokéball after giving Cobalt a kiss on the nose. Calico and Agean are shocked by this level of trust, since Treble is Cobalt's starter, and Agean whispers, "Let's see if Rose will give Cobalt something as...meaningful." Rose decides to trade Scramble to Cobalt, after getting permission from Scramble, and returns her to her Premier Ball. "Oh no, it's the murder egg," Agean whispers in shock.

Placing their Pokéballs in the machine, Rose and Cobalt complete the temporary trade. Treble nests in Rose's hair, and Cobalt shoves everything in his backpack down so that Scramble can fit. (She immediately begins to organize his backpack.) Rose chooses to fight Agean, and Cobalt decides to fight Calico. They each receive another couplet for directions. Cobalt's couplet reads:"'A giant Pelipper is your goal, / Come on, kid, let's rock and roll.'"Rose's couplet reads:"'If it's in a word, if it's in a book, / Meet me at Little Cleffa's Giggle Coaster. I'M THE BABADOOK.'"

The Fourth Trial
Cobalt heads to the Pelipper Swing. Calico is there, waiting on the deck without any extra costumes over her pirate gear. Crackers is riding on her shoulder, and her pirate-hat-wearing Pawniard, Rackham (which Cobalt takes a picture of), stands by her side. Calico generously allows Cobalt a moment to adjust to using Scramble, which he uses to fistbump Scramble. In their battle, Cobalt actually uses Sweet Kiss, confusing both Rackham and Calico (who was expecting Metronome). After Rackham uses Torment, Scramble is able to use Typhlosion's Heat Wave, via Metronome, and covers Calico and Crackers in ash, as well as knocks out Rackham as Calico's laughter goes from amusement to desperation and resignation. This delights Cobalt, especially since he loves Typhlosion. After dusting Crackers off, Calico breaks character, fist-bumps and compliments Cobalt, and gives him two metal non-gym badges shaped like Doublades, as well as the last couplet.

Rose heads to Little Cleffa's Giggle Coaster, a small, pinker, cuter version of the Hyper Beam Coaster. The gift shop sells shirts that say "I Survived Little Cleffa's Giggle Coaster." Agean emerges from the shadows, without any extra costumes over his spooky suit. His Chandelure, Braum, floats menacingly over his shoulder, and they both ignore the adoring small children that run by. Agean sends out his Ariados, HP, which Rose takes a picture of. In their battle, HP is able to constrict Treble's nose, leading to its undoing when Treble is able to fire off an Ember. After recalling HP, Agean resignedly gives Rose two metal non-gym badges shaped like a Duskull's skull, and remarks "You probably want your little boy and his little dog back," to which Rose replies, "I want all my boys back."

The Aftermath
Now evening, Calico and Cobalt, and Agean and Rose, enter the far end of Pelipper Pier, where there is a large crowd of people gathering for the evening's boat show. There is a large platform there; the pairs enter from opposite sides, and meet Victor, Biscuit, and Thurl in the middle. Victor, in normal clothes, drops the "prisoner" "act" and puts "I Heart Pelipper Pier" hats on himself and Biscuit. Calico makes a big speech about how successful their first Trial was, and everyone compliments Victor and Biscuit's acting "skills." She then turns to Rose and Cobalt, saying, "And now that we have seen that you are the best couple.....................of trainers, it's proper for partners to exchange things," prompting Rose and Cobalt to give each other one of the non-gym badges. Calico and Agean encourage Cobalt to drop to a knee; the crowd goes absolutely bonkers when Cobalt drops his part of the badge and has to bend down on one knee to pick it up. Rose goes beet red, but Cobalt stands up and they each assemble their Dual Duel Badges. Rose goes to hand her badge to Scramble for organization, but realizes that she's not there. She picks Treble off her head, and Treble kisses her cheek before returning to his Pokéball. Scramble hands Cobalt a sheaf of notes: an itemized list of everything in Cobalt's bag, all written in variations of "Togepi." He promises to follow her system and puts the list in his back pocket, fist-bumping her before returning her to her Premier Ball. Rose and Cobalt trade Treble and Scramble back to each other, with Cobalt vigorously shaking his bag to undo Scramble's hard work before Rose can get her back.

Calico and Agean congratulate Rose and Cobalt, encouraging them to fill out the exit survey before they leave the Pier. Rose and Cobalt suggest "ghost pirates" as a theme, which Calico and Agean are floored by, especially because it's so simple in hindsight. Thurl presents Rose and Cobalt with a heavy, large chest that they have to open together, revealing an EXP Share for each of them.

As they celebrate, fireworks explode in the sky, and Rose and Cobalt notice the tall woman from the crowd, beckoning them towards her with a frigid smile and a "Come with me if you want to learn more about the Legendary Birds."

Cast
Alan Sells as GM/Victor/Everyone Else/Everything Else

Jake Mason as Rose Jenny

Josh Nichols as Cobalt

Annie Craton as Calico

Jonathan Craton as Agean

Trivia

 * This is the longest single episode to date.
 * Annie, Jake, and Josh almost left the recording to participate in the live "My Brother, My Brother, and Me" Q&A, and Alan was impressed with their dedication to the podcast.
 * This episode was not originally supposed to happen; after Rose and Cobalt's loss in 026b, Annie and Jonathan threw this together with Alan in five days.
 * This episode's "pronunciation that Jake and Josh mock" is of "caramel."
 * Everyone involved with the episode hates the idea of a three-foot-tall spider (Ariados) and would burn their houses down.
 * In the end credits, Jon explains the meaning of his Twitter username, and the group references "There She Goes (Doo Wah Diddy)," "Cold as Ice," and "Pretty Woman."
 * Shannon has said that Cira was probably the one organizing bets during the second trial.